Thursday, August 2, 2018

STATEMENT OF WHY I TURNED DOWN REAL MADRID’S OFFER TO PLAY IN PLACE OF CRISTIANO RONALDO w/ Spanish translation


 There’s been a lot of controversy in the news lately as to why I turned down Real Madrid’s offer to play in place of Cristiano Ronaldo.  Some are saying that it’s because of money; others are saying that I’m not good enough to replace Ronaldo; and others say that it’s because they wouldn’t give me the number 7.

I’m here to clear the air. None of the above reasons are correct. The fact is that I have other commitments to include playing for the Castle Knights F. C. once my Achilles tendon injury heals.  It’s been over 7 years and I’m still not fully recovered.

And that’s where the real reason begins:  I was racing up the stairs to a courthouse to file papers with only 5 minutes to spare. As I bolted up, I felt a great tear to my lower leg and I couldn’t walk well.  I hobbled and limped to get my papers filed; and, of course, I made it. 

As I drove home, suddenly I felt a warm feeling all over my leg… and it did not hurt anymore.  As I was making dinner [heating a frozen pizza in the microwave] a friend stopped by. I told him that I sprained my ankle.  He looked at my leg, now swollen green and purple; he said “That’s no sprain. Go to the hospital.”  

After examining my leg, the doctor said:  “I think you’ve popped your Achilles tendon from the calf muscle.”  It didn’t sound good.  They put me on a splint and set a consult with an orthopedic surgeon.

The orthopedic surgeon confirmed that my Achilles tendon had popped from my calf muscle.  He then told me that if I was a multi-million-dollar athlete like Cristiano Ronaldo, they’d operate immediately.  But since it was just me, they would give me a splint to wear for about six weeks.  So I said: “Fucking Ronaldo. I would never play for Real Madrid anyways.”  

So when Real Madrid made their offer… and that’s the real and true story.

By:       Homeless with a Laptop, that is my Name
            Бездомные с ноутбуком, это мое имя


DECLARACIÓN OFICIAL DE LA RAZÓN QUÉ RECHAZÉ LA OFERTA DEL REAL MADRID DE JUGAR EN LUGAR DE CRISTIANO RONALDO

Ha habido mucha polémica en las noticias últimamente en cuanto a por qué rechazé la oferta del Real Madrid de jugar en lugar de Cristiano Ronaldo.  Algunos dicen que es por el dinero; otros están diciendo que no soy lo suficientemente bueno para reemplazar a Ronaldo; y otros dicen que es porque no me dieron el número 7.

Estoy aquí para despejar el aire.  Ninguna de las razones anteriores son correctas.  El hecho es que tengo otros compromisos para incluir jugar para los Castle Knights FC una vez que mi lesión del tendón de Aquiles sane.  Han pasado más de 7 años y aún no estoy completamente recuperado.

Y ahí es donde comienza la verdadera razón: corría por las escaleras a un tribunal para archivar papeles con sólo 5 minutos de sobra.  Mientras me atornillaba, sentí una gran lágrima en mi pierna inferior y no podía caminar bien.  Cojeando y arrastrando para conseguir mis papeles presentados; y, por supuesto, lo hice. 

Mientras conducía a casa, de repente sentí una sensación cálida en toda mi pierna... y ya no dolió. Mientras hacía la cena [calentando una pizza congelada en el microondas] un amigo pasó por aquí.  Le dije que me torcí el tobillo.  Miró a mi pierna, ahora hinchada de color verde y púrpura; él dijo "no es un esguince. Vayas al hospital ".  

Después de examinar mi pierna, el doctor dijo: "Creo que has reventado tu tendón de Aquiles del músculo de la pantorrilla".  No sonó bien.  Me pusieron en una férula y pusieron una consulta con un cirujano ortopédico.

El cirujano ortopédico confirmó que mi tendón de Aquiles había estallado de mi músculo de la pantorrilla.  Luego me dijo que si yo era un atleta de varios millones de dólares como Cristiano Ronaldo, ellos operarían inmediatamente.  Pero ya que era sólo yo, me darían una férula para llevar durante unas seis semanas.  Así que dije: "Desgraciado Ronaldo. Yo nunca jugaría para el Real Madrid de todos modos. "  

Así que cuando el Real Madrid hizo su oferta... y esa es la real y verdadera historia.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

One Afternoon at a Bank



At  two o’clock on Wednesday afternoon I was at the local branch of a bank.  I had to cash a check otherwise I wouldn’t have been there… I didn’t expect many people to be there; but I was fifth in line.  There were five teller windows, but, naturally, only one was open.

The line was pretty diverse: a tall, young black guy who looked bored; a middle-aged black lady who looked tired; a young white guy holding a child of about two in his arms; an elderly white woman who kept looking around; and me. 

Methinks “Only one teller window open, figures.”  “They’re probably trying to save money by keeping personnel to minimum staffing—at the expense of customer patience and convenience."

As we stood in line buried in our own thoughts and lives, suddenly the little boy, cried out loudly:  “Daddy, Daddy”

“What is it, son?” His father asked with mild curiosity.

In a most happy little voice, the child asked, “Daddy, Dracula bite neck?”

We all burst out laughing: the tiredness, boredom, and other worries of our day melted away; we were no longer strangers but one happy family.  We all started chatting about TV shows, children, families, patting the little boy, etc.  I could only wonder what the little boy watched on TV, but suddenly even Dracula sounded like a great guy in the child’s happy little voice.   Made my day, and everyone else’s.

Whenever I’m sad, I remember this story, and it never fails to make me smile.


By:       Homeless with a Laptop, That is my Name
            Бездомные с ноутбуком, это мое имя